7 Deadly Sins: Anger and Sloth

When I first asked you to tell me what anger looks like this week, I received a lot of responses- and all of them were physically acting out, the most basic and also childish response to anger. When little kids get upset, they will often throw themselves on the floor, yell, kick, etc. But as we grow up, we start to see other ways people deal with their anger- and the responses typically fall into one of the following types:

• The Volcano: You suppress your anger until you. just. can't. anymore. Eventually you explode, spewing your vitriol without control.
• The Microwave: Watch out! Things heat up quickly! This is the short-fuse type of anger, ready to boil over at a moment's notice.
• The Icicle: With a shoulder that cold, the target of your anger should start looking up remedies for frostbite.
• The Toxic Waste Site: Buried deep within, you never let your anger show. But no form of containment lasts forever, and the poison of your anger eventually seeps into and destroys unrelated parts of your life.
• The Baker: Keeping your anger in check, you use it as one part of a recipe to make something better and tastier than what you had before.

 We kept that last type in reserve until we answered the following question, though, since it's kind of leading. But you guys were already unanimous in your answer to the question of whether anger is always a bad thing: you thought that anger could be justified and could be a spark that pushes you into action. This is the modern perspective, by the way: the ancient monks thought that anger was never good and always needed to be rooted out. And they had good reasons for it (though I, too, think the modern perspective's got a strong argument!): First, they found that it was hard to pray or feel connected to God while angry, and second, they recognized that anger greatly reduces our ability to think with sound judgement. When we're angry, we're more likely to focus on the imagery of what made us angry and we're also more likely to tell ourselves little half-lies or distort the situation to justify our feelings. The ancient monks felt that it was too easy for us to confuse situations that called for righteous action and which ones were the "turn the other cheek" scenarios- and they knew the power of anger so well, they wanted to be in full control of their emotions before doing ANYTHING.

If we believe that there are some situations in which anger is good, we need to first figure out how to tell the difference between righteous anger and the sin of wrath. So let's take a look at the three main categories of wrath:

• Irritability/quick temper (bickering, rudeness, cutting remarks, complaining, profanity)

• Disproportionate anger (our anger is much bigger than the situation warrants; we have an overblown sense of what we’re owed)

• Simmering resentment (grudge-holding, dwelling on “wrongs,” sullenness, passive-aggressiveness, refusal to forgive, fantasies about vengeance; this is the most likely to distort the truthfulness of the situation and to inflame the first two categories)

Any time you find yourself in one of those categories, you can be sure that your emotion isn't righteous. You're too focused on yourself to put anger in its proper place: as a servant of change and reconciliation.

 Still confused? Ask yourself the following questions:

• Is this offense something that makes God angry? 
• Does my reaction to it fit into God’s kingdom?
• Will my anger destroy a relationship or dishonor God?
• Is my anger turning into thoughts of fixing the problem for everyone involved?
• Does my anger keep me from forgiving others?

 So what if your anger is truly wrath? Now what do you do? Fret not! There are many who've struggled with this before and they have some great insights!

• Be vigilant about identifying angry and resentful thoughts- don't let them fester. And it's worth taking note of what makes you angry- what does it tell you about your motivations and values?
• Don't run away from it! Sure, you can step outside or count to 10 to keep yourself from saying something you'll regret, but in the end, it's best to deal with the situation at hand. You'll never be able to avoid everything that could make you angry (even a hermit can get mad at an inanimate object if he hasn't learned to control his temper), and more importantly, if you can't handle your emotions while you're "in the world," you'll also never be able to effect any good in the world.
• Try to come to a peaceful resolution with the other party. This doesn't mean it has to be an immediate "all's better" situation, since some wrongs truly do require time to come to terms with them. But start softening yourself to the idea of forgiveness as soon as you can.
• Forgive and forget. I know you can't actually FORGET, but you do have the choice to not bring up a past wrong (either to them or just in your head). Don't let anger define your relationship with someone; continually remembering a wrong often leads to prolonging the feelings of hurt or becoming smug and prideful over how great you are that you've forgiven them.
• Recognize that you have the freedom to choose what to do with your angry thoughts- there's no automatic requirement to do any one thing with them!
• Tell someone about why you're angry. This is not about venting (which almost never helps us reconcile, only rehash and relive), it's about discerning whether your reaction is appropriate and what your next step might be.
• Remember your own faults and imperfections- we're really good at attributing our missteps to circumstances and attributing our enemies' faults to character flaws (and rarely do we see them the other way around).
• Realize that you may not have had a right to the reaction/situation that you thought you had- be honest with yourself. Were you right in your expectations when they were disappointed?
• Reframe the situation- try to think about WHY things went the way they did.
• Do something that makes you feel joyful instead. Sing a hymn, give generously, do something that makes you laugh- it's hard to hold a grudge when you can't stop smiling!
• Keep a journal of your anger throughout the day, assigning it a 1-5 value based on how mad you were, and then review it at the end of the week. What do you think about those situations in light of some time?
• Take the long perspective. Ask yourself, "Will this matter in 10 years?" and "In light of eternity, is this anger something that has a place in the kingdom of heaven? Do I want to take this to the grave with me?"
• Prepare yourself! When you know you're likely to come up against things that make you mad, think about how you'll respond to them in advance. Don't gear yourself up for a fight, but think about how you could handle the situation with grace and tact, rather than flying off the handle.

 Interestingly enough, doing those things can also increase your PATIENCE! Which, of course, is the virtue associated with this particular vice. :)

But now what happens at the other end of the spectrum? When you're not mentally flying off the handle or seething with rage? When you're really not passionate about... anything? You might find you've fallen into the vice of....

Sloth

As a vice, sloth can be summed up not as a lack of motion and energy but as a failure to do what love demands of you; it is the sin of omission. We tend to think of it as laying about, munching chips and watching TV, but that image is really just the opposite of what the monks used to prescribe as a solution: manual labor, to improve your diligence (virtue alert!). What sloth really is can show itself in a number of sometimes unexpected ways:

• Restlessness or a desire to "run away from it all"
• Apathy
• Shutting your eyes to the world by yielding to distractions
• Planning, planning, and more planning- but never actually acting
• Not following through on opportunities to show love or kindness
• Hanging back when a prompt response matters (ie "I'll donate to that earthquake relief fund tomorrow... I mean, next week... or maybe next month.")
• Laziness or avoidance of things that are challenging
• Busy-ness, especially when we're busy to the point of distraction

That last point deserves a bit more discussion. If we define sloth as a failure to do what love demands of us, it's far more than just sitting on the couch and eating potato chips- we can just as easily avoid doing (or even noticing) what we should be doing because we fill our days with so many other things. A workaholic can certainly suffer from sloth, even if he never stops moving. When you're rushing from thing to thing, you may not stop to answer God's little "nudges." Or perhaps you're so busy because you don't want to have time to sit and explore your feelings; you're afraid of what some introspection might bring to light.

 

However it shows itself, sloth is a refusal (though perhaps a quiet one) to let God's love change us and define us; we cling to what WE want or how WE think our lives should be led. It is both the cause and the result of distancing ourselves from God. And it affects both the dedicated monk and the newbie believer equally.

How? As almost every mature Christian throughout history can tell you, a relationship with God is not static. Your passions and emotions rise and subside (because no one can sustain heightened feelings forever), and you will likely have moments in time when you have to listen much, much harder to hear God's voice. Remember how silent Mother Theresa's relationship with God was after her initial call! Sloth takes advantages of those ebbs and flows (particularly the "ebbs") and encourages us to take that lack of passion and either view it as a sign that we need to move on to something else or make it into our state of being. Sloth says, "I don't feel strongly about what I'm doing anymore. Guess it's not worth doing. If I just changed careers, cities, _____, it'd all be better. I should probably focus on that instead of doing this other thing." (Note: this is not about finding your calling- that's a whole 'nother discussion about discernment and the trial and error that can come along being blessed with a round-about path. Sloth is about not noticing what's placed in front of you and why, or choosing not to follow through on something that you should be doing.)

 

It should come as no surprise that sloth is part of a vicious cycle. Spiritually, when we decide not to pray because we're not "inspired," or we do the "one and done" prayers (I mentioned it to God, so now it'll happen and I don't have to think about it any more!), or when we fail to go to church because we'd rather spend our time on another activity (and we don't try to connect with God in another way), we will likely find that it's a bit easier to skip it next time, too. And then we start to lose sight of the value of a relationship with God, until we hit the point where we're either drifting aimlessly without purpose or value- or we're frantically trying to fill the void with whatever new fad spirituality floats in front of us. Alternately, we might scramble from activity to activity, trying to find fulfillment and purpose away from the very One who made us to want those things. And when we see sloth acted out en masse over a long period of time, we come to a situation much like we witnessed in Baltimore recently. (I'm grateful to all of you who stayed afterwards to discuss the logistics of what happened and how, but for those of you who missed it, this is a pretty good beginner summary, though it was made before they announced charges against the 6 police officers involved.)

The Freddie Gray riots and protests are the perfect example of the intersection between sloth and wrath. We saw both reactive, passionate wrath, as well as anger that was held in check by the 10,000 or so protestors who marched in the streets of Baltimore (and the others that held marches in other cities). Clearly, wrath and anger were on display- no matter your thoughts on the appropriateness of those emotions. But what about sloth? As John Stewart explains (in a rather bleep-filled, yet amusing clip), the reason that wrath was allowed to build and boil over was not just because of individual choices, but because of the inability and refusal of those in power (note: this doesn't mean just "government") to do what love demanded of them over a period of decades. Baltimore is a good example of what can happen when we allow distraction and comfort to make our decisions for us, rather than taking on the hard work that is placed in front of us. It is the culmination of a billion tiny decisions, for even when there are people working with all their strength to make things right, their hard work can pale in comparison to the sloth and inattentiveness of the masses.

 

I'd strongly encourage you all to keep paying attention, not only to this situation but to the others that pop up. Keep an eye out for trends in the anger, in the proposed solutions, and in the ways that people come together to overcome and heal. Paying attention can be a great form of diligence and commitment to love's call, especially as it prepares you for future action!

 

P.S.- There wasn't an obvious spot for this reminder within the main text, but we did talk about how it's not sloth to take breaks from working hard in order to have the energy to keep going. When you're doing something hard, you NEED to have moments of respite to recenter and recharge, and that is a wonderful thing. Just make sure you're not taking a break before you've even started!