Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different than it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing into a heavenly creature or a hellish creature: either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with other creatures, and with itself, or else into one that is in a state of war and hatred with God, and with its fellow creatures, and with itself… Each of us at each moment is progressing into one state or the other. (from Mere Christianity, a book I HIGHLY recommend)
Basically, our lives are on a continuum in a number of ways, and each action we take and decision we make brings us closer to one end of the spectrum or the other. Or, as one of you pointed out, two steps forward and two steps back will leave us in the middle of the spectrum, with no growth at all. And no growth means no improvement. But assuming that most of us want growth, each decision will make it either easier or harder to make the "right" choice the next time. The little things truly add up!
So what does that mean for our youth group? We'll be spending the month of September exploring these habits (or choices) in three key areas: commitment, integrity, and hard work.
Starting with commitment:
I find it's always best to begin with defining a word. Beyond our dictionary definition, we discussed it being a promise, an obligation, a relationship. Some felt it had to involve others; some felt it could be a commitment to self. Whichever way you feel, it's certainly something that is ongoing- fulfilling a commitment may take only a second, but it's usually decided at an earlier time (otherwise, it's simply a decision, no promise or obligation implied).
But even in the paragraph above, we can see that commitment can be interchanged with other words (promise, obligation, etc.). Other synonyms or related ideas include: loyalty, faithfulness, steadfastness, dedication, single-mindedness, trustworthiness, responsibility, and following through. On the negative spectrum, commitment (taken to the extreme or undertaken for "bad" reasons) might involve rigidness, over-zealousness, addiction, dependency, obsession, or the inability to distinguish needed change.
So, do we value commitment? Based on our wording, we decided that yes, we do- but as a society, perhaps not as much as we should. Or, maybe we value it in other people, but find that it's just "not for us." We often find justifications for ourselves to excuse actions that we wouldn't accept in others. We allow fear (of imperfections, failure, harm, etc.), busy lives, and the pressure to be popular to overcome our sense of commitment. Or we decide that something else is more exciting; maybe we just don't feel it anymore. And if we're really honest with ourselves, sometimes we're just lazy and it seems easier to let things slide.
But what if everyone stopped following through on their commitments? What if every friend you had stopped showing up when you decided to get together? Told your secrets when they promised to keep them quiet? What if teachers stopped committing to their jobs? What if police, fire fighters, or doctors chose to stay home watching the game- because it was easier than answering your call for help? What if your parents decided to end their commitment to raise you?
Obviously, without commitment, our world would be a pretty sorry place. It's not hard to see why it's important- but it's equally important to understand where the model of commitment first came from, and why Christians have an extra obligation to commitment. We covered 3 scriptural components to the commitment discussion:
1. Being faithful even in our small commitments is as important as training for bigger responsibilities.
"He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much" (Luke 16:10).
2. Being a Christian is a total, full-time commitment.
"But Jesus said to him, 'No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God'" (Luke 9:62).
3. God has an unshakable commitment to us.
"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'" (Hebrews 13:5).
Our original role model for commitment was/is none other than God. And let's not forget that His Son was another model of unwavering commitment; His commitment to us went to death and beyond!
We all have lots of commitments in our lives- family, friends, faith, jobs, extracurriculars, sports, political ideologies, charities, etc. And obviously we can't be committed to the death to all of them. There will come a time (probably many times) when our commitments will conflict. So how do we decide what gets priority? One of you suggested a great starting place: choosing the activity that you said "yes" to first. But what if it's not simply two activities that are in conflict? In those cases, you need to have a ranked system of priorities- for example, is your commitment to your family more important than your commitment to your job? Knowing those values will help you make decisions when the specifics are less clear or the individual options are less appealing. It'll also help you make quick decisions, rather than deliberating anew on each and every conflict, each and every time one arises.
I had you all write down on a card your number one priority- God, family, friends, etc. and one thing you'll do to keep your commitment to that person/activity/relationship. Maybe you'll make your faith a priority over sports, and you'll choose Wednesday night worship over the pasta dinner that comes before every cross-country meet. Or maybe you rank family higher than friendships, and so you leave Sundays as a family day, no matter what you're invited to do. The specifics are up to you! But the act of writing things down can help clarify them, as well as make you feel more committed. Giving those cards and stated intentions to someone else can help even further- now you have a two-fold, or even three-fold, level of commitment: to your priority, to your sense of self, and to the other person you've brought on board!
If you didn't give your card to me, I encourage you to give it to someone you trust. If you DID give it to me, thank you for entrusting me with it. I look forward to helping you stay committed in the future! And I'm very much looking forward to our youth group next week, when we redirect our focus to Integrity. Come prepared to do some group work! :)
5 Minutes of God Time song: Reason to Sing by All Sons & Daughters
Link to the article about young Beckett (who we made cards for): http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/story/life/2014/09/12/young-cancer-patient-wants-mail-th-birthday/15507957/
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