Habits of the Heart: Integrity

After a lively discussion about the merits (and from my view, disgustingness) of bananas, we continued our Habits of the Heart discussion. Integrity was the topic for the day, and though we didn't have enough time to cover everything (honestly, we could've had hours and still not covered everything!), we did get a start.

We defined integrity as living your life by adhering to moral and ethical standards- and our Venn Diagram showed us that it requires us to have unity between our beliefs, our words, AND our actions.

source: Pinterest

 

We have tons of people (past and present) who've modeled this for us- everyone from Mrs. O and Jammin' Jenny to Ghandi and Martin Luther King, Jr to Jesus. There are lots of people who try to live their lives according to the beliefs they hold as important. Obviously, Jesus is the only one our list who has lived a life of perfect integrity (as he's the only one who never sinned at all), but even though he's the perfect role model, he's certainly not our only role model.

 

In fact, there are plenty of other people with integrity in the bible for us to look at as well. So why is living a life of integrity important? Why not just do what makes us feel good, what's easiest, or what won't get us in trouble?

 

 Today we explored the story of David and Uriah (and Bathsheba), as a great example of two men with very different takes on the importance of integrity. Any guesses which one of those two held fast to our topic of the day? :) (Click the link if you need a refresher on the story). David's series of bad choices (not going to war with his people as a king should have, sleeping with another man's wife, scheming to try to hide his adultery, and eventually murdering a strong, upright man) didn't just hurt him and Bathsheba. His lack of integrity continued on to the future, a shadow that was cast over a man who had once been very strong and upright himself! And we see as the story continues, David was unable to properly deal with some very horrible family drama (rape, murder, etc.) because of the baggage that he held from his previous lack of integrity. And this is where we learn the first of our two questions about the importance of integrity:

 

Are you living in such a way that you're able to speak up against a wrong? Or are you living in such a way that your hypocrisy silences your voice?

 



When we live according to our own pleasures and whims, rather than making sure our actions align with our morals and faith, we often lose the ability to call out another's wrongs- either because we see ourselves in the same position and worry that speaking up will force us to change something we don't want to change, or because they simply won't listen to us. "Do as I say and not as I do" never has been very effective!

 

"Do as I say, not as I do" is the flip side of "walking the walk"- and Shane Claiborne has a thing or two to say about that! As we discussed, Shane is someone I find very inspiring because he HAS aligned is life with his priorities (even if I'm not sure I'd live out my priorities in the same way as him). And in this video, he asked our second question:

 

Where does your trail of crumbs lead?

 



Do we have the integrity to answer our critics (or even just the curious) in the same way that Jesus answered John the Baptist's disciples: "What do you see?" Does how we order our time, money, and life choices reflect Christ's priorities and values? Would you be able to tell we're Christians by something other than words? Jesus doesn't answer, "Yes, I AM the messiah." He SHOWS his Godliness.

 

We finished by working in two sets of groups to brainstorm answers to the following questions: What does God call us to do? (feed the hungry, don't gossip, love our neighbor as ourselves, forgive 70 times 7, etc.) and What are some concrete examples of how to live those calls in our day-to-day lives? (inviting someone over for dinner, changing the subject, lovingly confronting a friend who's stolen from us to get them help- while continuing the friendship, etc.). Obviously we could have continued the discussion for much longer, but it gives us a start to think about what integrity in our Christian morals might look like. I hope that you'll continue the discussion with your friends and family, and hopefully even set aside some alone time to think through your potential pitfalls BEFORE they happen.

 

Living a life of integrity can be hard. If it weren't, more people would do it. But the reverberations of a life aligned with God's plan for the world are enormous and wide-reaching. Do you think Mother Theresa had any idea how her life of integrity would impact the world? Probably not. But she stood fast regardless, and that is why we know her, respect her, and try to emulate her devotion to Christ and His call.

 

Source: Pinterest

 

 

Our closing prayer: May God give you perspective on the things that frustrate you. May your heart of compassion grow for those who suffer in unimaginable ways. May you pray as passionately for them as you do for yourself. May God protect you from a small, selfish mindset. May He fill you up with thanksgiving and joy for the freedoms you enjoy. May he renew your resolve to be a grateful, humble soul. And may He use you tomorrow in ways that surprise and bless you. (from Susie Larson)

 

5 Minutes of God Time: I Believe by JJ Heller (actual "5 Minutes" song, due to internet complications) Live Like That by Sidewalk Prophets (intended "5 Minutes" song)

 

 



Source: Pinterest

Habits of the Heart: Commitment

Welcome back to our first "real" day of Youth Group! We started our first unit of the year (Habits of the Heart) with a quote from the ever-brilliant C.S. Lewis:

Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different than it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing into a heavenly creature or a hellish creature: either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with other creatures, and with itself, or else into one that is in a state of war and hatred with God, and with its fellow creatures, and with itself… Each of us at each moment is progressing into one state or the other. (from Mere Christianity, a book I HIGHLY recommend)

Basically, our lives are on a continuum in a number of ways, and each action we take and decision we make brings us closer to one end of the spectrum or the other. Or, as one of you pointed out, two steps forward and two steps back will leave us in the middle of the spectrum, with no growth at all. And no growth means no improvement. But assuming that most of us want growth, each decision will make it either easier or harder to make the "right" choice the next time. The little things truly add up!

So what does that mean for our youth group? We'll be spending the month of September exploring these habits (or choices) in three key areas: commitment, integrity, and hard work.

Starting with commitment:

I find it's always best to begin with defining a word. Beyond our dictionary definition, we discussed it being a promise, an obligation, a relationship. Some felt it had to involve others; some felt it could be a commitment to self. Whichever way you feel, it's certainly something that is ongoing- fulfilling a commitment may take only a second, but it's usually decided at an earlier time (otherwise, it's simply a decision, no promise or obligation implied).

But even in the paragraph above, we can see that commitment can be interchanged with other words (promise, obligation, etc.). Other synonyms or related ideas include: loyalty, faithfulness, steadfastness, dedication, single-mindedness, trustworthiness, responsibility, and following through. On the negative spectrum, commitment (taken to the extreme or undertaken for "bad" reasons) might involve rigidness, over-zealousness, addiction, dependency, obsession, or the inability to distinguish needed change.

So, do we value commitment? Based on our wording, we decided that yes, we do- but as a society, perhaps not as much as we should. Or, maybe we value it in other people, but find that it's just "not for us." We often find justifications for ourselves to excuse actions that we wouldn't accept in others. We allow fear (of imperfections, failure, harm, etc.), busy lives, and the pressure to be popular to overcome our sense of commitment. Or we decide that something else is more exciting; maybe we just don't feel it anymore. And if we're really honest with ourselves, sometimes we're just lazy and it seems easier to let things slide.

But what if everyone stopped following through on their commitments? What if every friend you had stopped showing up when you decided to get together? Told your secrets when they promised to keep them quiet? What if teachers stopped committing to their jobs? What if police, fire fighters, or doctors chose to stay home watching the game- because it was easier than answering your call for help? What if your parents decided to end their commitment to raise you?

Obviously, without commitment, our world would be a pretty sorry place. It's not hard to see why it's important- but it's equally important to understand where the model of commitment first came from, and why Christians have an extra obligation to commitment. We covered 3 scriptural components to the commitment discussion:

1. Being faithful even in our small commitments is as important as training for bigger responsibilities.
"He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much" (Luke 16:10).
2. Being a Christian is a total, full-time commitment.
"But Jesus said to him, 'No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God'" (Luke 9:62).
3. God has an unshakable commitment to us.
"Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'" (Hebrews 13:5).

Our original role model for commitment was/is none other than God. And let's not forget that His Son was another model of unwavering commitment; His commitment to us went to death and beyond!

We all have lots of commitments in our lives- family, friends, faith, jobs, extracurriculars, sports, political ideologies, charities, etc. And obviously we can't be committed to the death to all of them. There will come a time (probably many times) when our commitments will conflict. So how do we decide what gets priority? One of you suggested a great starting place: choosing the activity that you said "yes" to first. But what if it's not simply two activities that are in conflict? In those cases, you need to have a ranked system of priorities- for example, is your commitment to your family more important than your commitment to your job? Knowing those values will help you make decisions when the specifics are less clear or the individual options are less appealing. It'll also help you make quick decisions, rather than deliberating anew on each and every conflict, each and every time one arises.

I had you all write down on a card your number one priority- God, family, friends, etc. and one thing you'll do to keep your commitment to that person/activity/relationship. Maybe you'll make your faith a priority over sports, and you'll choose Wednesday night worship over the pasta dinner that comes before every cross-country meet. Or maybe you rank family higher than friendships, and so you leave Sundays as a family day, no matter what you're invited to do. The specifics are up to you! But the act of writing things down can help clarify them, as well as make you feel more committed. Giving those cards and stated intentions to someone else can help even further- now you have a two-fold, or even three-fold, level of commitment: to your priority, to your sense of self, and to the other person you've brought on board!

If you didn't give your card to me, I encourage you to give it to someone you trust. If you DID give it to me, thank you for entrusting me with it. I look forward to helping you stay committed in the future! And I'm very much looking forward to our youth group next week, when we redirect our focus to Integrity. Come prepared to do some group work! :)

5 Minutes of God Time song: Reason to Sing by All Sons & Daughters
Link to the article about young Beckett (who we made cards for): http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/story/life/2014/09/12/young-cancer-patient-wants-mail-th-birthday/15507957/