To start, we had to answer why it was important for us to be talking about this topic at all. So we started with some scripture. Matthew 28:16-20, also known as The Great Commission, is Jesus telling the disciples to go and make more disciples, even though they're still working through their faith. 1 Peter 3:15-16 talks about the how: being prepared with an answer for those who ask about your faith, and discussing it with gentleness and respect. Colossians 4:2-6 asks for prayers that Paul might speak with clarity, making the most of every opportunity when interacting with those who don't know Jesus, and that he will have a ready answer for those who are seeking. And we'll end with the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:13-16, which calls for His followers to be the light and the salt of the world. I love those two metaphors. Salt can be used to bring out the best in food (intensifying flavors and giving needed electrolytes) but it can also be misused and over-applied. If you put too much into food, it can become disgusting and inedible. If you apply salt lightly to land, it can be used as a type of fertilizer; heavy, aggressive application can destroy the soil to the point that nothing can grow there again. And being the light of the world? You're offering a benefit to others, helping them to see more clearly. Too much light, though, can also cause blindness and burns. And Jesus doesn't tell you to be a wildfire or to chase people down with your candle- He calls for us to be a lamp on a stand and a city on a hill. Both of those options give people the choice to come closer and see more clearly or to look away- it's THEIR choice, you just shine on for whenever they're ready to use you.
But obviously, there are some barriers and concerns about sharing your faith that we have to acknowledge. Faith tends to be a hugely personal part of us, and discussing it opens us up to other people's opinions and possibly their derision. That's scary and nerve-wracking for anyone! Also, discussing faith (aka evangelism) tends to have really negative connotations in our society. We often think about it as aggressively brow-beating surprised strangers and friends into agreeing with a very discriminatory, barely lovable religion in the name of gaining organizational power through numbers (and of course, the offering plate). Right. Why wouldn't everyone want to share this world view with their friends?
But what if sharing your faith/evangelism/disciple-making were something positive, a light that glows rather than burns? What if we look at it in terms of sharing because it's so good that we can't truly love our neighbors as ourselves without offering them this opportunity? What if we're sharing because we want our friends and family to experience the same sense of love, belonging, purpose, and security? And what if we acknowledge that we get as much out of these discussions (because they should be just that- discussions!) as those we're talking with? Maybe then evangelism isn't so terrifying- to use a metaphor from the book we discussed, it's more like dance than assault.
When we were first getting settled at the coffee shop, I asked you if any of you were worried that our "Sharing your Faith" discussion meant I was going to make you go try to "save" strangers by "sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ" with them. None of you were scared that this was my plan. Why? Well, I'd guess it's a little bit because it's not a focus of our faith tradition in the UCC, but mainly, it's because we have a relationship. You know that I try to encourage you and stretch you, but that I also try to do it in a way that respects your comfort levels- and you've also gotten an idea of what my comfort level is, too, through our patterns of interaction. Had this been the first youth group that we ever had together, though, some of you might have decided that free coffee wasn't worth the potential risk of being a forced evangelist. And I wouldn't have blamed you.
But if you think of evangelism as simply being open to discussing your faith with someone you already know, there's a whole heck of a lot less pressure. And keep in mind, too, that you don't have to have all the answers (or have them all at once), and you don't have to have evangelism be an event. You can share your faith through your actions in a relationship, through ongoing discussions, through admitting that you HAVE faith. You don't have to push it, and you shouldn't assume that you'll ever see someone "get saved." You might be the one who plants the seed. Or the one who waters a seed that someone else planted. Or you might just get to see the plant and the fruit that was started before you came into the picture. Maybe if you're really lucky, you'll get to see all of those stages. But the gift is in being allowed to help someone else grow in their faith- no matter the stage.
Remember, though, that growth happens as part of a relationship, and as in any relationship, it's not all about you. Most people are already grappling with God in some way, shape, or form. That's good. First, it means that they might just want to talk to someone about faith (whether that person is you can be a whole 'nother question). Second, it means that the Holy Spirit is already at work. God already knows and loves that person, and knows what he or she needs. If you're open to it, He might just use you as the set of speakers to share the message they need to hear. I know there have been times in my life when I was discussing faith with someone and answers poured out of my mouth that I never thought about or intended- but they were the things that person needed to hear. So, allow yourself to be used! And third (finally!), it's important for us to remember that relationships aren't all about one-sided benefit. When you discuss faith, you also grow. Forming words forces you to clarify what your thoughts truly are. Presenting an idea helps you see inconsistencies and murky areas. Even if you're just talking about it to your dog, the act of putting faith into language helps you understand what you believe! But when you talk about God with another human being, you get their input, too. They might challenge and contradict. They might agree, add, and clarify. They might do all of that in one conversation! But when they share their experiences, questions, and beliefs with you, it gives you a deeper understanding of God, too.
Sadly, self-professed Christians can be rather ethno-centric at times- believing that we have the corner market on God, that we are the only ones who have ever experienced Him and that other people need to know OUR experiences because they're the truth. Our experiences are true, yes- but so are the experiences of others. God is not domesticated. He is not easily packaged or consumable. Saying we understand everything there is to understand about Him is like a toddler saying he knows everything there is to know about his mom- that she likes peas (since she makes him eat them), she's a giant, and sometimes she yells (like when he tried to pet that pretty, snarling raccoon). Those things might all be true, at least from his perspective- but there's soooooooooo much more about his mom that he doesn't know yet. An aunt might tell him what she was like as a child, or he might ask her about how she met his father. As he grows, he'll learn (and appreciate her) more. Same with us and God. I fully believe that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Light, but that doesn't mean that I am the only one who has ever known Him.
And finally, we'll wrap this up with a REALLY long insertion of our three handouts. I don't get the whole Google Docs thing, so I can't link it. You can scan to the bottom of the page if you've still got your handouts and just want to find our 5 Minutes of God time song!
3 Realizations:
1. Many people want to talk about God, but not just anyone is safe to talk to. More people than you think are thinking about God, but they might not have someone they’re comfortable talking to about those questions and thoughts. It’s important for people to recognize that you’re a safe, spiritual friend- not “just safe” (as in, nothing to really offer so you can’t challenge them) or “just spiritual” (know a lot, but pushy, threatening, or hypocritical). This is where spiritual friendship comes in- being open and authentic.
2. You have to see, like, approach, and serve people to be a spiritual friend. If you don’t look around and see people who need a friend, you miss great opportunities. If you don’t like them, you’re condescending- and no one wants to be friends with someone who looks down on them. Clearly, you have to actually get close to them- you’re not friends with a celebrity, just because you know who they are. And finally, you need to serve. Help out. Smile. Buy them a coffee. Do something that makes them wonder what you have that’s shining out of you.
3. Many people shy away from Christianity for good reasons. The biggest enemy of Christianity isn’t atheism or other religions- it’s bad Christianity. People’s skeptical questions often come from one or more of the following reasons:
a. Our faith has too often become a set of rigid beliefs rather than a unique, joyful way of living, loving, and serving (which was the intent!)
b. Our concern over getting numbers into heaven too often seduces us into neglecting the call for mercy and justice here on this earth.
c. Faith has too often become a set of easy answers and cardboard explanations instead of a window into unfathomable mystery and a pathway into an awesome adventure
d. We are hypocritical, without acknowledging our shortcomings.
8 Factors to remember:
1. The Relational Factor: Count conversations, not conversions. Each time you discuss faith, you’re accomplishing what you’re called to do and you’re planting a seed. You may not ever see the plant or the fruit. Get out and interact with the world, and as you develop relationships, conversations will come on their own. Don’t worry about the content so much- just worry about getting the conversation started.
2. The Narrative Factor: Listen to their story, share your story, share God’s story- not just propositions and formulas. You are a story in progress, surrounded by other stories in progress. At any point in time, your story could intersect with another person’s story, which unfolds a new part of God’s story- because God’s story is completely woven into both of your stories. Stories are important in understanding how God works. If they weren’t important, Jesus wouldn’t have spoken in parables and stories.
3. The Communal Factor: Conversions occur in the context of Christian community, rather than the context of information. Spiritual friendship isn’t just about you- it’s as big as the whole Body of Christ. Introducing someone who’s questioning their faith to others who are strong in their faith offers more opportunity for growth and it takes the pressure off of you to have an answer for everything.
4. The Journey Factor: Disciple-making is a holistic, unending journey, rather than a conversion event. This is not an Insider vs. Outsider idea, in which the only achievement is in a definition. Everyone is traveling towards something- either closer to Jesus or further away, and self-identifying as a Christian does not indicate which direction you’re traveling.
5. The Holy Spirit Factor: God is at work in EVERYONE, inside the church and out. Evangelism isn’t just the transmission of information, it’s the gift of being used in God’s mysterious workings. Don’t think you’re trying to share Jesus in a vacuum- that’s way too much pressure on you. You’re just helping nudge along what God already has in process.
6. The Learning Factor- Evangelism is as much a tool for your own spiritual growth as it is for the person you’re talking to. We’re not called to be salespeople, trying to get someone else to buy our “product.” As Bill Nye said, “Every person you meet knows something you don’t.” When you discuss faith with another, you get the benefit of their observations and history and you get the clarification that comes with having to articulate your own!
7. The Missional Factor: Evangelism is as much recruiting people to help bring about God’s vision on earth as it is about heaven. What being a follower of Christ has to offer is GOOD, so good that it’s worth others experiencing. As others experience that goodness, there’s a ripple effect- less greed, more generosity, less anger, less war, more peace, less hunger. More people being the hands and feet of Jesus. Isn’t that something worth discussing?
8. The Service Factor: Evangelism is another facet of serving others. One of the best ways to improve the lives of those around you (which is the point of serving, no?) is to help them see the love of a God who died for them. To give them a sense of belonging, purpose, and respectability. We are called to serve, but we also have to consider that saying about giving a man a fish versus teaching him to fish.
4 Suggestions on “HOW?!!?”
1. Listen to their story and pay attention. God’s been at work in their life since long before you came into the picture. As you get to know them, you’ll find opportunities to ask more questions about them personally- family life, interests, goals. And at some point, the question will likely come up naturally- “Do you believe in God?” “What do you believe in?” are two possibilities.
2. Tell them your story. It can be something like, “Sometime if you’re interested, I can tell you why I believe…” or “When I started paying attention to what I believed in, I started to notice/question/feel….” Or it could be something as simple as posting a story about faith on Facebook (or a comment about a great sermon or Christian song). It lets people know where you stand and that you might be one of those “safe people.”
3. Tell them God’s story. Some things you experience greatly parallel scripture. Maybe you help a friend solve a problem using biblical wisdom- and if they ask why you suggest that, you can tell them you read it in the bible or heard it at church.
4. Be an inviter, bringer, includer. Whether they’re self-proclaimed “searchers” or not, including friends in activities like youth group, lock-ins, service projects, etc. can be a good way for them to try out what being a follower of Christ means. Whether they want to come again or stay away, it’s given them something new to consider in their faith journey. And don’t assume that someone who doesn’t attend church wouldn’t be interested in coming to something faith-based!
And, in case you want our 5 Minutes of God Time song from this week: Your Hands by JJ Heller
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